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slytheringsnake:

my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”

and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered

"Maybe i need to use the sleep"

(via departured)

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offisir:

do u ever just cum and it ain’t great and ur like “ok that one was super lame”

(via covocal)

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suplush:

xx
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"I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations."
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"They told me to pour my heart into everything I do. So that’s what I did, I poured and poured and poured. Now they ask me why I’m so empty."
/ (via j0yless)

(Source: florential, via moonshinexxo)

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shampoo:

how do i achieve immortality and perfect eyebrows

(Source: square, via wo-nderland)

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jesuschristvevo:

do dogs think in barks

(via orgasm)

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netlfix:

in all my years i have never finished a pencil

(Source: netlfix, via fake-mermaid)

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